Disconnected

Is this goodbye?
     I feel like we hardly said hello.
and my mouth...
     my mouth is stuffed with words
       words of hope
          ...encouragement
          ...sadness
          ...joy
       words of words there are no words for.

To me it doesn't seem so black and white.
     Cause I see you...
       and I see color
          ...life
          ...worth
          ....desire
       I see indescribable sights.

I see something that could be.
     And it could be great,
even though it could be easier to say goodbye.

But hello seemed pretty great to me.
And I've got plenty more hellos;
     they come with this hand to hold,
       this shoulder to cry on,
       these ears to hear the real you,
       this mouth stuffed with so many words,
       and eyes amazed by so many sights.
     They come with this belief that sometimes the best things in life
       are the hardest to take the first steps.
But my laces are tied;
  and you know I've always loved your shoes.

In Other Words

I write poems about you in my head before I fall asleep,

they're often melancholy in tone.

I wonder how you are and what you're up to,

because you seem sad...

And I can't be there to ask "what's wrong?"

"is there anything that I can do for you?"

I live out scenarios about you in my head before my days start,

they're often filled with joy.

When I don't have to wonder how you are,

because we're happy...

And I can be there to ask "how was your day?"

"do you think about me as much as I think about you?"

Migration Of Thoughts In Springs New Dawning

There was life before
and there will be life after
but life then seemed like the only life there would ever be

Confusion sets in at times like these
    and life feels abundant again
    and words build and destroy mountains with each new sentence formed
The strongest of empires toppled at the smallest of whispers

And there you stand
    bright with hope and uncertainty
    scared of circumstance and attachment
    moving me to waves of emotion long since forgotten by modern man

And without name or knowing
    I continue to walk this path
    scared of the future and more scared of the missed chances
    scared of you and my desire to make your dreams come true
Knowing that such things bring the biggest joys or the saddest hearts.

An Incomplete List For The Girl Of My Incomplete Dreams

In dark, I responded lightly;
passing it off to you being cool.
The heat and sleep inside
    and your voice said, "go."
And part of me wondered if you meant forever
    or if it would just feel like it.

In the first moments of forever,
    the Question stood with hands in pockets waiting patiently.
"Salutations," he gleaned from classic children's literature, "begin."

She wears her personality like lovers wear their hearts and dreams on sleeves;
    vibrant and full of life.
She walks among the empty graves of dying art forms
    mixing hope and kindness;
    ambitions and unassuming smiles.
She walks tall and strong
and bright
and sharp
and makes threats feel like moments of joy.
She is fun like children and waves and swings and melodies.
She is confident and clear like summer skies without interruptions.
She knows hurts and scars,
    but dreams
    and soars
    and brightens
    and shows compassion when anxiety removes all life from houses
    and cares for friends with deep convictions
    and mirrors the beauty of bright new days
    and
        the run-on ran on drowning all word constructs before it;
    just like she drowns all other thoughts from my head.

-Kinda Sucky And Forced Sounding-

Two days is already one too much
I was captured within hours
Life stopped and unrolled at our first touch
springing forth new hope like flowers

And I wait and hope and wait
and stop hoping and start again
And end up thinking that it's too late
and move between lover and friend

Unfinished Love Song

V.
Sun shines and the leaves are all falling,
our walls begin falling and opening up.
I hope there's more than this moment,
but right now this moment is more than enough

V.
A few months doesn't seem long enough,
but it seems long enough to feel this much.
And I know that it can be scary,
and unknown and frightening and all of that stuff

C.
So put your hand in mine
And I won't let go
I'll hold you in my arms
I'll pull you close

More Of An Experiment Than Anything Else

Is this a joke?, he said
Oh, I didn't mean it to be;
chill for a minute and listen.
She'd explain if he was quiet.
He'd be open to hearing her out.
Spoken in hushed tones,
It was for you, a gift -
this gift was supposed to be special.
He froze. He gained perspective,
Accept this apology.

This Is Also A Plea

Losing perspective is easy
Everyone has done it
Time and time again
Making patterns of lives
Earning scars and hurts
Losing battles and winning wars
Over and over the struggles struggle
Vainly attempting to make sense
Each day failing more and more
Yet the motif continues
On and on for eternities
Under the guise of something bigger

It's Like A List Of Chores Or Something Far Worse

Love has proven itself:
    unreliable
    mysterious
    unremarkable
    surprising
    relentless
    unforgiving
    inopportune
    hurtful
    demanding
    doubtful
    disingenuous
,but mostly -
    worthwhile

This Is A Plea

Can you start anew?
Fresh hearts; done with blue.
Ready to leave scars
and pain to the past.
Knowing dreams are true
and real joy can last
as life rocks and jars
spinning to the stars.

If Seasons Come In Cycles Then Life Might Too

The winter of my discontent
  is a struggle of emotions
    swayed back and forth
      with the slightest push
and pull...

The spring of my disillusion
  has passed and gone
    leaving a path to move on
      and I've followed
and fallen...

The summer of my new beginning
  has lasted longer in hopes
    and final endings
      moving me forward
and back...

The fall of my reality
  will bring me life
    and surprises
      that defy expectations
and plans...

Everything In Life Is Better With You At The End

In craft and form
    both beautiful and brilliant
The sun shines less than you

My heart beats fast
    both strong and full of life
Lost in moments spent with you

My hands shake
    they quiver and sweat
Anticipating contact with you

In nights and days
    both fleeting and more
My thoughts are spent on you

My breath lost
    my life stopped and stunned
Struck by the sight of you

I Think It Was The Title Of A Starflyer Album

Old Notebooks,
Full of different times and people.
Shock... Surprise... Sadness...
all fill the room with a tension
that fills the body just the same.

Old Lives,
Full of different versions of selves.
Young... Naive... Dark...
all fill the mind with a tension
that no longer exists and nothing's changed.

A Struggle For Truth

Closing in,
moving closer to a means to an end.
Giving up, giving in
Losing all to abstract ideas of friends.
Tell me more
Tell me lies where I believe it makes sense.
And I forget, I pretend
I know it's wrong, I choose my sentence.
The end game,
the start to everything I know is fake.
I buy in, I buy up
I live life unfulfilled and on the take.

When The Title Is Longer Than The Poem, It Is Time To Start Rethinking Things

Dark
Light
Mark
Fight
Night
Stark
Might
Bark
Pin
Sin
Win
Done